Dear Future Husband,

Assalamu’alaikum, it’s Atiqah, your future wife. Maybe you’re reading this before we know each other; maybe you’re reading this while we already know each other. Or maybe I’ve shown this to you before we decide to get married.

Any way, well there are a few things I’d like to share with you, what I’m searching for. I hope you’re a good Muslim, and the only thing you love more than me is Allah. I hope you can guide me and work with me towards Jannah, InsyaAllah.

I’m always pushing forward. And I expect a lot from myself. For that, I may be a go-getter at times. So make sure you keep me in check, pause me when I need to be paused. Instead of singing to me ‘Stop And Stare’, sing to me ‘Stop And Think’.
Having said that, I’m a bit of a kental. A bit like, a lame kental. Okay maybe not a ‘bit’. I can be naïve. I have a weird sense of humour. Sometimes I humour myself with my humour. Even so, I like to find joy in even the littlest things. I hope you’re a funny person; and that you’re one who likes to smile. Because I would want to start, last through, and end my day with that smile of yours, every single day, till the end of our lives, InsyaAllah.

I like to explore. I like to try new things. I like going on adventures and going to weird places. I hope you like that kind of stuff too, so that we can do our exploring together. I hope that instead of regular old dates we’ll go to different places and try new things all the time. I’m off beat.

Family is important to me. Please work with me towards having the family I envision, InsyaAllah. Let’s have good family moments together okay? We’ll bring our family to picnics, spend our weekends preparing meals, sing to silly songs together, go on a hike and get all tired. And many other impromptu stuff that we can do as a family.
It’ll be nice, InsyaAllah.

You’ll have to be patient with me when I have my mood swings during the time of the month you know. I tend to be unpredictable sometimes. And when I’m drop dead tired that’s when I can get snappy. I’m random and I tend to ramble too. I try to get my point across as direct as possible but I still ramble – like right now. You know why, because I think keywords. My thoughts come to me like pulses of signals being transmitted across a synapse. Short, fast pulses. Likewise, my thoughts come to me in short keywords, and fast. So I either a) Blurt out what’s on my mind without thinking and I say it out fast and as a result my sentence don’t really make sense and I’ll get a ‘huh’ as a reaction – a reaction I get a lot. Or b) I take my time to think and hang on to my sentences and I’ll make the person wait – sometimes I do this for the fun of it. Or c) I’ll just talk normally, heh.
Oh wait, I think I’m just wasting my time here, I’m trying to get to the point. That was me rambling again. See I ramble a lot I have moments where I’ll be deep in my own thoughts and moments where I’ll talk non stop sometimes without any punctuation so I ramble a lot – like right now.

I love you, okay? Even after that honeymoon period where all we can do is to just stay in bed and we grow used to each other, my love will always extend beyond that.

You can get mad or cry in front of me, you can show me your weakness. You can make mistakes big or small – but I still love you. And InsyaAllah you will love me the same. Because love doesn’t just mean acceptance – it means that I will always be there to pick you up, to push you forward.

I’m not the best person. I can have bad mood swings, I can be impatient, may be insecure and lack confidence. But I always strive to be the best. You must promise me you’ll be the water to when I have my fiery temper, that you’ll pay attention, that when we have children, InsyaAllah, you will be involved in their life. You have to pay attention, okay? You have to be there, you can’t be emotionally absent in any way. Please don’t let your anger get the best of you, just – Be there.

And with Allah’s Will, I’ll be the best wife I can be, together we’ll be ambitious and hardworking and loving. I’ll take care of you and our children, I’ll always be happy to go to your parents and family.

Amidst everything, let’s just try to enjoy life though, that’s all.
And I like dressing up, I hope you like dressing up too. And that you don’t mind holding my hands and kissing me often, and hugging and-
I can’t quite adequately explain how I feel Future Husband.
Right now it’s like staring out of the window and looking at the vast expanse of the earth, of people all living. And from my vantage point, trying to look out for you to tell you all this.
It’s impossible, because I’m the kind of person who would need it – a sign, whatever – smacked right in front of my face.
Maybe you’re right here already?
I mean of course before we get married we would meet to get to know each other and stuff but,
Let’s meet for that special union one day, InsyaAllah.

xxxxxx
Atiqah

I want to be able to do the things I like, that will insyaAllah make me happy, make me feel lighter inside, can?

the weight of it all is exhausting.

no, just suck it up yo,suck it up.

I need a breather,
astaghfirllahalazim.

really, what would it take, to fill that basket up?